Just Let Me try

I tried to tell my grandma that I am planning on moving to Florida and it didn't go over very well. She says she worries about my safety. That because my best friend is gay, that I will be subjected to an environment where people who hate the gay community will not only hurt him but also might try to hurt me. To which, I replied, people are like that everywhere you go and we have dealt. She said she knows and that she worries enough about his safety let alone mine. That she think of him as a member of the family and hopes that everything works out for him. To which I was happy to hear, with exception that she worries about my safety because there are so many other problems in the world that people have to deal with. She said that now that my friend has moved away, it might be easier for me to go out an find someone. Someone that I can have the same friendship with but also might enjoy their company in an intimate way as well. At this point I began to get up from the table. To which she recieved as a direct blow to her comments, automatically thinking that I am angry with her. I try to walk away and just say I'm tired or something. To which, she says you are mad at me. I turned and asked why everyone thinks that the relationship that I have with my gay best friend is ruining my love life. I had no one before him. So why is it his fault that no one cares for me like that. Couldn't the reason be that I am not appealing enough? Couldn't it be that there are not enought men here in this small town? I tell her that I don't want to talk because it makes me sad and that I apologize if it makes her feel bad. I knew that if I stayed, I would only grow increasingly angry with her and frankly I didn't want to fight. I just wish that because my mother and my grandmother care for me so much and want what's best for me, that they could see that I am not chasing my best friend across the country for his sake, but for my own. Because I'm tired of the quietness of this small town and the scenery painted in green. I'm tired of the people in this town and the close mindedness that they condone. I'm dying here and I have a shot at a cure. That cure is the sunny beaches of the coast. Sarasota is not a step in the wrong direction but more of a leap towards the right direction. I'm not chasing Greyson. We are just great friends that think that it would be easier on our own, if we had a great friend there to hold our hand. I don't know. I'm close to just giving up.