Here's To You Mrs. Robinson

I hate the feeling of not knowing. You know that feeling? The one in the back of your mind and in the pit of you stomach. The place where everything seems to matter. Where spontaneity and free will have no power over logic and reality. Instead your mind spends an eternity searching for answers to gain some sort of insight for your oh so oblivious mind. Answers to questions like, what does the future have in store? Who will you fall in love with? Do they love you back? Do they feel the same way about you? What’s going to happen to them? Are they using you? When will you die? Stupid questions like these are what life eventually begins to evolve around. You begin to find yourself completely and utterly caught up in the search because the level of your own insanity relies on the knowledge that you lack. So you search more and more everyday, all the meanwhile losing a piece of yourself with every new puzzle piece you find. Until eventually you lose yourself to the search. Truth be told, however, we’ll never know until we reach the end. Still though, we search for the answers keeping in mind the consequences that we face. Reaching, slowly, the point of no return. The point where you find yourself balanced on balance beam and then someone gives you a push. And you fall. And you keep falling cause you’ve lost all sanity. And then you write poems and blogs like this and you laugh at yourself because you realize what you’ve done. Where you went wrong. And how completely and totally incomprehensible your words really are to every reader that takes a glance. How insane you sound to someone else. And that’s when you know, you’ve lost your spontaneity, your free will, your logic, your reality, yourself.